You got cotton in your ears boy?

Sleep comes and goes. The amount I sleep is directly proportional to how much I physically output during the day. There is not any getting comfortable and nodding off. There is no easy drift into an unconcious state of rejuvination. There is simply a point where my body says it has had enough and decides that the 3/4 inch air mattress and a bag stuffed with clothes impostering itself as a pillow will just have to be suitable sleeping domain. The growing nights of restless sleep does does allow for one positive aspect, that being that I have more vivid dreams. Since the intense hours of cycling no longer fill the majority of my day, vivid dreams are something that fill a majority of my night. Many I cannot remember, however there are many that stand out when I arise.

On the second night of Abel Tasman track I had a very strange dream. I dreamt that I woke up and felt my ear because it seemed as if it were clogged. Inspection found that it was over flowing with wax. Disgusted, I decided that an ear candle would be necessary in the morning. Clearly, at morning my ear was not in any need of any wax removing procedure. This dream had me focusing on my ears and sound for many hours as I walked the track. I was playing around with sound production concepts influenced by my sorroundings and conciously taking in as much of this sense as possible.

As this final day narrowed down, visions of cliffs hanging over clear seas boyishly envoked only one thought, "Where can I jump from?" Influenced by the same thoughts, Brandon, Sep (a guy we tramped with), and I found ourselves at Separation Point taking off our clothes wondering who was going to go first. We all took that plunge hoping that the nearby seals would not act teritorial. Once the waters were deemed safe with the initial conservative jump, I found myself needing to feed the adrenaline junky that lives within me. I stood at the edge with my feet touching each other and imagined a swan dive with a quick foward flip just before I hit the water. I wondered if my muscle memory from previous jumps would get me through this. I wondered if I had enough time. There is only one way to find out the answer to these queries, and that is the moment when one takes a final deep breath, gets a kick of adernaline, and does everything that the body was telling them not to do. Muscle memory - Check. TIme - ... not enough. I landed short of the full rotation on my back with my head sideways. I imagine my readers thinking, "Ow, back smacker!" Sorry to lead you astray. Yes, there was a notable pain from this, but that was completely overpowered by the rupturing of my ear drum! Once again my undivided attention was focused on my ear. Sea water drained from my sinuses for the rest of the day, pressure built and built making it unbearable to move, and all I could think about was how aniticipated this was. It was in my dream that something was going to affect my ear and I chose to ignore the warnings. I took the pluge with doubts and now my ears are popped 100 percent of the time, while my right ear has minimal hearing. I plan to see a doctor if an infection sets in, otherwise I am hoping that it will clear itself up with time.

I landed in Melbourne this morning. Good times on the plane with all the changes in cabin pressure. I have not even had the opportunity to give this city a once over and it is already standing out. The jobs are plentiful, the mass transit system works, the neighborhoods seem ethnic, there are neighborhoods, etc. I suppose that I should do more than just get to my couchsurfing accomodations before I pass judgement.

Laying the bike down.

The tour has ended. Unable to obtain the parts needed for the last 4-6 day stretch of cycling an unexpected decision has been made to call it off early. The sense of achievement is blanketed by this, however it was time anyways. Redundencies were a catalyst to delerium, and countinuous rain began the onset of a slight case of mania.

Besides this news I would like to share a few paragraphs from The Hidden Connections by Fritof Capra with some of my personal comments. Within a section called 'The Nature of Life' Capra goes into a highly condensed synopsis of what we can consider life to be in a biological frame of reference. Many sections stand out to me so much so that I am already reading these parts over again in hopes of a better understanding. This following excerpt stood out to me and and this is something I want to share.

"Detailed studies of the flow of matter and energy through complex systems have resulted in the theory of dissipative structures developed by Ilya Prigogine and his collaborators. A dissapative structure... is an open system that maintains itself in a state far from equilibrium, yet is nevertheless stable: the same overall structure is maintained in spite of an on going flow and change of components. ... The dynamics of these dissipative structures specifically include the spontanious emegence of new forms of order. When the flow of energy increases, the system may encounter a point of instability... at which it can branch off into an entirely new state where new structures and new forms of order may emerge.

"The spontaneous emergence of order at critical points of instability is one of the most important concepts of the new understanding of life... It has been recognized as the dynamic origin of developement, learning, and evolution. In other words, creativity - the generation of new forms - is a key property of all living systems."

This is an interesting concept within its own parameters and understanding it fully may require some extra reading. However, I want to focus on its general conclusion and apply the concept beyond cellular life and dissapative structures. What interests me is the critical points of instability which leads to developement, learning, and evolution. I am sure that most of my audience knows from experience that turbulent times within their social persona and/or personal ego has ultimately lead to learning and developement for the better. But, can we say that there is evolution as a result? Evolution as an organisim? Probably not! However, evolution as a living social network of human beings is more probable and this leads back to my post concerning my known audience. Communicaiton of our learning an developement is an effetive way to expand the evolution of human beings because we exist in a living social network. The evolutionary chain demands that we communicate otherwise all we are doing is stunting the growth of ourselves and our oneness within the network.

I guess I should communicate more.

Love you all. Special thanks to Chad and Jen W. for their wonderful encouragement and insites. Extra love to that baby boy (I almost cry everytime I think about him).

Keep on rockin' !

Moving on

I appreciate all the response that I have recieved since the last post. I feel a little strange finding out how many people are following my stories with excitement. Although I was given a bit of a boost to continue with my tales I am going to be subborn.

How about just a small update of where I am at now. I am in Franz Josef Glacier township. It is about noon. Brandon and I are a bit stuck here at the moment. We both have had a breakdown. A spoke pulled trough my rear rim and Brandon's bearings in his pedal are destroyed. We need a ride to Greymouth for part's however the bus will only take us if they have room for the bikes. Thus far they have not had any room. Tomorrow hopefully they will. The rain stopped for a day, but it looks like that will not continue. There are lots of little and big downers that have really been making the past few days a struggle for me. With all this, my mood is not at its peak but its not getting me down. I am still focusing on the good, and laughing at the stupid. Not to mention the thought that I am not in -30 degree wind chills, I am not working a job everyday, and that the mountains or the sea are just about always at my finger tips, make me realize that I have a lot of good going for me.

The cycling trip is ending in late February when I fly out to Australia.

This is all I have for you now. Pictures are not available until I can upload them.

Love you all.

My audience is known, My words are formed for them. This is nothing but another perpetuation.

The other night I lay awake, sorting my experiences. I subconsciously quantitatively rate them and logically form them as I remember and reinvent my memories and manifestations of the time that was once now. I do this for the sake of relating my interpretations and my choices within this external world back to those who I blindly think might care or understand any of it. My personal interpretations are not only skewed when I verbally communicate them, but also from the point of my sensory organs intaking and translating messages to my nervous system which then need to be interpreted again by my conscious mind, to the point when my audience reads and interprets my skewed interpretations form their skewed perspectives. Simply, and unreliable source.

I come to realize that I am a fool for my attempt at logging my trip for anybody other than myself. I feel that for me to do otherwise, and continue at status quo, I am only perpetuating that which I suppress - my ego. I would love to share stories of my travels and excursions for the sake of conversation and entertainment, however this story is far from complete and this method of communication lacks as priorly mentioned. Also, although I tried to add twists of humor and gained wisdom within my posts the fact is that as I published my emphasis was always directed by a need to feed my audience. Since my audience in known I project a story for them, and not necessarily the whole story, but a sliced and diced story. A story of how I want them to view me. Thus, I quantitatively rate and logically sort my interpretations in a way to communicate my apparent need to project myself, my ideas, and my ego upon those that read my interpretations.

As I write this my audience is still known, my words are formed for them, and this is but another perpetuation. At least it is realized.

I am unsure of exactly what the future of this blog will be. As much as I would rather not have the strong influence of all my readers opinions I feel that I might need them. So please feel free to push me around with your interpretations, because I realize that communication is the most human thing to do and I am only human.

The trip is going well, and I will post pictures for your entertainment (and skewed interpretations) as soon as I find a good computer.

Much love and peace to all of you. A little bit extra to mom, dad, and sis. A whole lot to Harper.